Quotables for Week Ending March 26, 2016
![](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1661721234/user/modwild)
The Secretary of State was visiting colleges on Madam Secretary this week.
Hannah was recalling her time at Oberlin on Girls.
But it wasn't all university talk, as Martha dedicated her book to her son on Castle, and Liza had mourning sex with Josh on the season finale of Younger.
See what else was going on this week when you check out the quotable moments below!
1. Agents of SHIELD
![Lance hunter meets with coulson on on agents of shield season 2](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--CewRkTOs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1411597119/lance-hunter-meets-with-coulson-on-on-agents-of-shield-season-2.jpg)
What are the chances he just tripped and fell and wrapped himself in a nice, comfy tarp?
Hunter
2. Vinyl
![Descending into debauchery vinyl](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--R-t_IMjL--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458443531/descending-into-debauchery-vinyl.jpg)
I can't be the first person who ever mentioned it to your face. The logo looks like a toilet.
Andie
3. Quantico
![Defensive driving quantico](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--aoik1b1f--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458444104/defensive-driving-quantico.jpg)
Every morning I put a gun in my mouth. Have you ever tasted a gun, Alex? It's awful. It's the only thing that feels right to me.
Simon
4. Once Upon a Time
![Rumplestiltskinmr gold photo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--th_BbVBl--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371223010/rumplestiltskinmr-gold-photo.png)
Don't worry, I'm not dead. Just visiting.
Rumplestiltskin
5. Girls
![Time away girls](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--89HdKQtt--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458444649/time-away-girls.jpg)
You know, I've actually never had sex with a woman before. I mean, I've done other stuff. I went to Oberlin, so I'm not, like, a monster.
Hannah
6. The Good Wife
![Getting cozy the good wife](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ERTiG9_r--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458326264/getting-cozy-the-good-wife.jpg)
Oh my God! My family needs a full time investigator. That's not normal, is it?
Alicia
7. Madam Secretary
![College campus tour madam secretary](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ncG8L8mY--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458357364/college-campus-tour-madam-secretary.jpg)
Goodbye Madam Secretary, hello another college mom.
Elizabeth
8. Elementary
![The real identity elementary](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--0BFOMiQD--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457311596/the-real-identity-elementary.jpg)
In what universe are these people not all dead of cancer?
Sherlock [about superheroes' origin stories]
9. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
![Dream ghosts crazy ex girlfriend](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--nTosk_ol--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457299471/dream-ghosts-crazy-ex-girlfriend.jpg)
I imagine my life as a series of musical numbers.
Rebecca
10. Shameless
![Kev looks for a way around shameless](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--gwLANSz6--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458441990/kev-looks-for-a-way-around-shameless.jpg)
I didn't think your wedding was going to become an annual tradition like thanksgiving.
Veronica
11. Bitten
![Saving marsten bitten](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--XWqSssdi--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458513243/saving-marsten-bitten.jpg)
Nick: Why do I get the feeling I'll be looking for elderwood and hemlock soon?
Paige: Nope, but I will need crickets and pine cones.
Nick: Great.
12. Gotham
![Bathtime gotham season 2 episode 15](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--BZmL6J4t--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458055831/bathtime-gotham-season-2-episode-15.jpg)
I don't mind stealing if it's from criminals.
Bruce
13. Supergirl
![Manhunter supergirl](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ZGzOnRvt--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458226113/manhunter-supergirl.jpg)
Winn: Do you think Supergirl's lost the public's trust for good?
Cat: I suppose if Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.
14. Scorpion
![Putting the moves on paige scorpion](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Vmg7dsze--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457891956/putting-the-moves-on-paige-scorpion.jpg)
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but then I get to sue you.
Heywood Jahelpme
15. Bates Motel
![Norman struggles bates motel](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--1JxzHVSi--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458511692/norman-struggles-bates-motel.jpg)
Romero: See? Alcohol just makes it so much easier.
Norma: I can see you're going to be a great influence.
16. The Magicians
![The netherlands the magicians](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Y2bemWCI--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458511210/the-netherlands-the-magicians.jpg)
Now I kinda feel like a dick for making fun of your Garden State soundtrack.
Quentin
17. Castle
![Rick castle photo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--yncDmzFg--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371073080/rick-castle-photo.png)
Castle: “For Richard - Without your constant stumbles in life the advice in this book would not have been possible.” Constant stumbles?
Martha: Let's not make this about you.
18. Lucifer
![Have a drink padre lucifer season 1 episode 8](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--n66IYf-M--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457746953/have-a-drink-padre-lucifer-season-1-episode-8.jpg)
Father Frank: We all have demons inside.
Lucifer: My demon tends the bar.
19. Jane the Virgin
![Pablo and alba jane the virgin](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--fgpsymMp--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457299950/pablo-and-alba-jane-the-virgin.jpg)
Jane: If he doesn't respond, then there's something definitely wrong.
Narrator: Something is definitely wrong. God, this is frustrating.
20. New Girl
![Winston bishop picture](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--4VvZw7_c--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371228631/winston-bishop-picture.png)
You know what would be nice? A wedding invitation engraved on a plate. What a magical wedding that would be.
Winston
21. Younger
![Somber morning younger](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--YorN8Wkt--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458602062/somber-morning-younger.jpg)
Josh: That was great!
Liza: That was mourning sex.
Josh: What are you talking about? It's three o'clock in the afternoon!
Liza: You know what I mean...?
22. Stitchers
![Lockdown stitchers](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--cfyIaSFL--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458599234/lockdown-stitchers.jpg)
Camille: How does it feel to save the day?
Linus: It doesn't suck.
23. The Flash
![Trajectory the flash](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--wiOOxjjU--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1457579739/trajectory-the-flash.jpg)
Caitlin: Why is she running back and forth?
Cisco: Villains gonna vil.
24. iZombie
![Looking different](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--vsAApN0S--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1456179640/looking-different.jpg)
Rationalization isn't just a river in Egypt.
Ravi
25. Awkward
![The real world awkward](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--dpDY6qgt--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458599630/the-real-world-awkward.png)
Chop chop Tilda Skankton. You work retail, so work it.
Sadie
26. NCIS
![Tony dinozzo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--3lDfMok---/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371129372/tony-dinozzo.png)
Tony: My father brought a straight off the street bag lady into my apartment, rusty old shopping cart and all. And dad said that it was your idea, Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'm glad he found her.
27. NCIS: New Orleans
![Laurel is a target ncis new orleans](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--0YxzjFWH--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458358839/laurel-is-a-target-ncis-new-orleans.jpg)
Loretta: You're perfectly able to look after yourself normally, but when things get personal, I can't help but worry about your judgment.
Pride: Loretta!
Loretta: That you may end up on the wrong side of my autopsy table.
28. Rosewood
![A balancing act rosewood](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--h0IjyDap--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458603700/a-balancing-act-rosewood.jpg)
I can say a lot of words to describe your new place, amazing isn't one of them.
Rosewood
29. The Americans
![Were in trouble the americans](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--J2CLojIk--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458705840/were-in-trouble-the-americans.jpg)
Phillip: Gabriel said something about getting something from Level 4.
William: Do you even know what Level 4 is?
Phillip: One level higher than Level 3.
30. Arrow
![Wedded bliss arrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Eh1sGBXC--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458588425/wedded-bliss-arrow.jpg)
Oliver: I did say that I was gonna cancel, and I am gonna cancel, but I haven't canceled...yet. When I pick up the phone to do that, it means it's over.
Felicity: It is over.
31. Law & Order: SVU
![Sex trafficking law and order svu](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ttJVc0x6--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458601469/sex-trafficking-law-and-order-svu.jpg)
I know what you think about the Catholic church, but it is NYPD cops who are trafficking these girls.
Monsignor
32. Chicago PD
![Coming clean chicago pd](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--MCVB2H9w--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458679146/coming-clean-chicago-pd.jpg)
Burgess: We want to try something. Go on the app, put in a profile similar to Kosar's. Catfish the catfisher.
Platt: Is that a Dr. Seuss book?
33. Criminal Minds
![Targeting the bau criminal minds](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--y0dgKRV9--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458325748/targeting-the-bau-criminal-minds.jpg)
As a good friend of mine said, every ending is also a beginning. We just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe she's right.
Morgan
34. Supernatural
![A dangerous creature is released supernatural](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--F442jOk---/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458678752/a-dangerous-creature-is-released-supernatural.jpg)
Bobby: Were you ever nice?
Rufus: 1985. Worst year of my life.
35. Nashville
![More questions nashville](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--t3gi078p--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458679605/more-questions-nashville.jpg)
When I'm out on the road, I tend to focus more on my fans than my finances.
Luke
36. You, Me and the Apocalypse
![Before or after you me and the apocalypse](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--NyGU5r6t--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458779585/before-or-after-you-me-and-the-apocalypse.jpg)
Paula: What have you been doing with your life?
Dave: I dunno, Angry Birds?