Desperate Housewives Return Preview: Darn You, Paul Young!

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Desperate Housewives finally returns with a new episode on April 3, but one thing will quickly be clear: The time off has not made Paul Young any nicer of a man.

On "Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed," Paul will stand in the way of Susan's kidney transplant. In other storyline developments:

  • Lynette grows angry with Tom when he passes on a lucrative job opportunity.
  • Bree has a problem with Andrew's drinking.
  • Gaby is aghast at Renee's party planning.

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.

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Desperate Housewives Quotes

Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.

Renee

Preston: We don't want to get spanked.
Porter: Yeah, we promise we'll be good.
Lynette: Too late, you stole and then you lied. Even worse, you made me look bad in front of Mrs. McCluskey, who you know is mommy's sworn enemy. Time to pick your poison. How 'bout a belt? It's a classic... Well, we could go with the old hickory stick. It's a cliche, but it's pretty effective. I know, we'll go with the spatula. The holes give it less wind resistance; moves faster.
Scavo kids: No! No! No! No!
Lynette: Guys, guys, guys, hey my hands are tied. Thieves get spanked. Just the way it works. Unless...
Porter: Unless what?
Lynette: For a first time offense, if you swear, cross your heart, that you will never, never steal again, and you write Mrs. McCluskey a letter of apology, I will let it slide.
Scavo kids: Okay! Yeh! We swear! Yeh! We swear!
Lynette: Alright, start with Dear Mrs. McCluskey.
Porter: Mommy, why are you smiling?
Lynette: Do you know what physiological warfare means?
Porter: No.
Lynette: Well, too bad for you