Last night's episode of The Hills was all drama, all the time. Stephanie Pratt is insane. Ryan Cabrera is a metrosexual. Kristin Cavallari supposedly does hard drugs.

"Rumor Has It," indeed.

This was The Hills at its best and worst, with the supposed "reality" stars and their meaningless lives stirring up fake, yet entertaining drama for a good half hour.

Stephanie and Lo both think Kristin is doing coke. Naturally, MTV Kristin throws a party to smoke out the rumor starting culprit(s) ... and the whole cast is there.

Spencer Pratt loses his cool.

Brody, when he's not espousing his views on how bat$h!t crazy Stephanie Pratt is, was pissed about Audrina Patridge dating Ryan Cabrera. Yes, the lame singer.

Spencer and Heidi are there and she's psyched about her new body. Her friends either lie and tell her she looks good or have similarly terrible views on body image.

Stephanie then tries to mend fences with Spencer but gets choked up and Spencer proceeds to berate her for being crazy because she starts crying uncontrollably.

Kind of a chicken-egg thing.

The best part of the night came when Spencer shared his views on "healing" crystals that bring his life balance. Is this guy putting on an act? If so, it's hilarious.

His buddy Charlie, who's apparently morphing into a Justin-Bobby clone with that hair, tells him it's not working, and to man up and deal with his family issues.

As Brody continues to pretend to pine for Audrina, Kristin tells Stephanie she doesn't want to be friends with her because all she wants to do is create drama.

Probably the first and last coherent thought all season.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.